In any relationship, divorce should always be the final option. When possible, you should look to work at your marriage, not only for your sake but also for the sake of your children. Of course, sometimes, despite your best efforts, divorce is inevitable, especially when the marriage is broken beyond repair. Should this be the case, there are things you should and shouldn’t do when moving forward. For the purposes of this article, here are the things you should never do.
#1: Don’t neglect your health
It’s rare that divorce is easy on a person’s health, as it can bring about feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. It’s important then to take care of your emotional and physical needs during this time, such as speaking to a doctor or a counselor, spending time with friends, and finding ways to bring more positivity into your life during this dark time. Time does heal, and life will go on, but it will happen a lot faster if you care for yourself in the process.
#2: Don’t neglect the needs of your child
While divorce is difficult for you, you must never forget what your child is going through. Many children go through feelings of guilt when mommy and daddy split up, as well as anger, sadness, and anxiety. As a parent, you need to reassure your child that he/she isn’t to blame. When possible, you need to figure out joint custody, working out both mother’s rights and father’s rights with a family attorney, so your child still has time with both of you within their young lives. And you should take time to listen and to talk to your child, as well as allowing them the privilege of a family therapist to further talk through their feelings and emotions.
#3: Don’t do something you will later regret
Emotions will be running high, and if you’re not careful, you could do something that you will later regret. You could jeopardize both your health and your custody rights by falling into bad habits, such as falling prey to alcohol when dealing with your feelings. You could cause loyalty conflict within your child if you continually bad mouth the other person. And you might post something negative about your partner on social media, and that could later be used against you in court. You don’t want to hurt yourself or your child. You don’t want to do something that could affect your custody or visitation rights. So, while it isn’t easy, be mindful of all that you do and say.
#4: Don’t listen to divorce advice from friends and family
When it comes to advice about the divorce, the only person you need to get advice from is your attorney. They will talk to you about custody rights, sharing joint assets, court orders, etc. Don’t listen to the advice of anybody else professing to know what it is they are talking about, such as family members and friends who are trying to be protective of you. Sure, they can support you, offer you a shoulder to cry on, and help you with your personal life, but if they try and offer you advice based on what they have experienced themselves or seen on the television, politely say ‘no.’ Each divorce case is unique, and should you act upon bad advice from those who aren’t professionals, you might jeopardize your future.
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