Seven Signs Your Marriage Will Be Beaten By The 7 Year Itch

Nobody walks down the aisle imagining anything other than love, happiness and a beautiful future. Not one person thinks that this won’t work; they think that marriage is it and the end of dating and any need to find another person to love. And then seven years goes by and things become…itchy. Well, for some people they do. The 7-year itch is a coined term that psychologists deemed the time in a marriage where there is a slump. One or both parties get itchy feet and feel the need to explore outside the marriage. The relationship is likely to decline at this point if it’s going to, and the timing leads one or both people to disconnect.

Of course, not every single married couple gets to year 7 and throws in the towel. Plenty of married couples remain happy and married for even more years. However, if you are nervous about this and you feel the need to seek advice from people like Susie Tuckwell to know what to do next, you should get to know the signs your marriage won’t make it past year 7. With this in mind, here are seven signs to look for!

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  1. You’re no longer curious about each other. One of the things that pulls a couple together is their desire to learn more about each other. Curiosity is so important to the communication between a couple and without it, you’re not going to learn new things anymore. 
  2. You’re keeping secrets and it’s becoming difficult. When you are married, there shouldn’t be any secrets beyond birthday gifts and surprise parties. Transparency is important and you have to stop keeping secrets from each other.
  3. You choose not to spend meaningful time together. Love isn’t enough – and it’s something you’ll quickly learn. You need to spend time together for your relationship to be meaningful and if you’re not, that’s a clear sign you’re growing apart.
  4. You’re starting to take each other for granted. Those little gestures that you had before, when you were enjoying together seem to disappear, and bam – you’re not enjoying each other anymore.
  5. Money hasn’t been a topic of conversation for a while and you have stopped communicating about it. You should be discussing financial goals together, and if you’re not, you could be on the decline.
  6. When you are trapped in a cycle of criticizing each other, you can forget how to be nice to each other. You shouldn’t be drowning in criticism, and instead of criticizing each other, you should be discussing and talking together. If you can’t get out of this cycle you may find you’re on the slippery slope to ending the marriage.
  7. You no longer have any fight. You have to fight together. Marriages are work and they take two people working together to get through each phase of life. Life is full of surprises and you can ensure that you get through them all together when you both agree to fight together for your love to last.

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How To Cope With Difficulties in Marriage

Every marriage faces difficulties at one point or the other. While such issues can strain your relationship, working through them can help strengthen your bond if you are wise in handling the challenges. 

Dealing with marriage problems can be difficult because they may arise due to stressors from many different sources. However, there are some smart tactics that you can apply to deal with them healthily. They include the following; 

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Work on Yourself

The best way to overcome problems in your marriage is by working with your partner as a team. However, if they aren’t willing to get on board, you can start by working on yourself, and they might come around later. 

It is also essential to be realistic about what you are expecting from your partner. Ensure that you are treating him/her in the same way you would like to be treated. Focus on correcting what you can first and later bring them into the loop. 

Adjust Your Expectations

To have a successful marriage, it is essential to be realistic about what you expect from your relationship and your partner. Keep in mind that as time passes, both of you might experience changes in your lifestyle, and it may no longer be possible to receive an extravagant gift on every occasion or have an elaborate dinner each night due to time or financial factors. 

It is, therefore, essential to discuss your hopes and wants with your partner and come to a consensus so that neither of you feels like they are being asked to do things they can’t manage. It is also vital to prioritise the things that matter to both of you. 

Be Mature

Passive aggressiveness, sarcasm, insults, and pouting are never going to solve your marriage problems. Such behaviours can get in the way of resolving your misunderstanding. Ensure to stay away from them even if your partner still has them in their arsenal. 

Dealing with your marriage problems can be an opportunity for you to model maturity for your children. Therefore, you should approach the issue with utmost maturity while ensuring that you do not allow yourself to put up with bad behaviour or be a doormat. If your partner is persistent in their immature behaviour or they start being violent, you may need to seek the advice of a divorce lawyer for advice on the way forward. 

Value Commitment

Without commitment, even the most loving or romantic marriage can’t work out. Having a firm commitment and sticking with your marriage through the good and bad times can make a big difference. 

Letting your partner know that you are willing to stick around when unexpected roadblocks appear can go a long way in helping you resolve any differences that you may have. It is possible to make it through and disagreements if you both have a firm commitment. 

Accept Your Differences

It is vital to understand that there are some long-term issues that you and your partner might continue to conflict about for years or perhaps throughout the relationship. Although this may sound like a great concern, it is normal. 

Having a successful marriage isn’t about fixing every problem that arises. On the contrary, it entails treating each other with kindness and respect even when you do not agree on certain issues

Every couple dreams of a healthy marriage. Apply these tactics to deal with difficulties in your marriage. 

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How to Face the Married Life

Finding someone you truly love and loves you back the same way is one of the best feelings in this world. To be with someone who understands your quirks and loves them is a rare and magical experience. One way or another, we will get to come across these things.

However, the sad truth is that even people who are so good together will have problems that will come their way. These challenges will rock their relationship to the core and make them question the love they share with their partners. If you’re one of these people, don’t worry. It’s a totally normal thing.

Marriage is a scary decision and a terrifying place. Of course, there’s the rainbows and the butterflies, but there’s also the tears and the arguments once in a while. If you feel like you’re starting to lose your partner, you’ve come to the right place.

Navigating the Married Life

If you just got married and you’re not facing any major problems yet, but you want to make sure that you don’t face them soon, we’ve prepared a quick list of tips for you. Below are some techniques on how to navigate married life.

The Right Perspective on Permanence

The idea of permanence can easily cloud your mind with fear and anxiety. The fact that you’d be living with one person for the rest of your life can be rather overwhelming that you start to feel the panic building up in your chest. Always remember that it’s about perspective. You’d be living with the person you love the most for the rest of your life. You get to spend every single day with your haven, a person with whom you can rest your troubles with.

That’s something you shouldn’t be scared of but rather be grateful for. It’s even more exciting when you have someone to build your dreams with-looking for a house and lot for pre-sale, saving up for the future, starting a family, and sending the kids to school. All of these get better when you’re with the person you love.

Embrace Imperfections

When we get married, we sometimes think that life will then start to become perfect. That’s not true. Some days will be mundane, and some will even be difficult, and that’s okay. You have to be okay with the fact that life is not always rainbows and butterflies. Accept that the imperfections are part of the married life.

Keep it Within the Marriage

Always remember that your spouse is called your partner for a reason. Your spouse is there to help you fix problems, not intentionally create them. That being said, whenever you disagree, make sure that youcommunicate it properly, and you do it only to each other. Avoid venting your problems to social media or other people because aside from the fact that it’s none of their business, it would not do your marriage any good.

Marriage Mistakes You Need to Avoid

There’s always a pattern when it comes to marital problems that lead to split-ups. More often than not, it’s about the mistakes we fail to see that chip away at the very foundation of the relationship and cause it to fall apart. Make sure that you get to avoid these mistakes.

Bringing Up Past Problems

The worst person you could ever hold a grudge on is your spouse. You spend your days with your partner, and we can’t imagine how you’re going to do that if you secretly despise him/her. Make sure that when yousolve a problem, you forget about it, and you don’t bring it up every time you argue.

Treating Your Partner Like a Kid

Do not ever treat your partner like a kid. Sometimes, we tend to see ourselves as superior and look down on our partners, especially when they make mistakes. Never forget that we all commit mistakes, but that does not justify any wrongdoing we can make towards our partner. You should always see your spouse as your equal.

Not Having Fun

Never forget the famous adage that goes, “laughter is the best medicine.” It’s easy to be caught up with problems, even just little ones, and be stressed out by it. However, you can also make the most out of it. Don’t ever lose your sense of humor when you get married because that’s a vital component of any relationship.

Once upon a time, you stood in front of your partner and vowed to love each other forever. We might all have our own definitions of the word, but what we do know is that love is a universal language that does not need to be understood; it just needs to be felt. Marriage might be scary, but knowing how to navigate your way through it will make it exciting.

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How To Be A Responsible Carer

As we get older in life, our responsibilities change throughout, and sometimes we have to take on the responsibility of caring for others. Not everyone is prepared to care for other people, and it can be a stressful ordeal if it came unexpectedly. For a lot of people, the idea of having to take care of your elderly relatives is inevitable, and only a matter of time, but how do you tackle that when the time comes? It’s not like you’re trained for it, and there’s a lot of emotions involved too. You must know how to handle the situation, and it can be different based on the individual.

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Elderly care

When it comes to elderly care, there’s a lot you need to know if you’re going to take on the role of their carer. For example, if a relative is dealing with Alzheimer’s, it can be very difficult for both parties involved. You’ll need to know how to act and treat them daily, and failing to do so can cause a lot of stress. You need to take it upon yourself to understand the whole situation and understand their needs. If they can no longer care for themselves, those needs need to be taken care of by someone else – is that something you can do? 

Making hard decisions

Many people find it very difficult to make time for their elderly parents to care for them, and that comes with difficult decisions. There are carers you can hire to take care of things while you’re not around, but that in itself can be difficult to trust.

Trusting the care of your relatives to another person can be difficult, but making sure their needs are met is very important. Sometimes elderly care homes are the better choice, as they offer many benefits. Living alone without the ability to care for yourself can get lonely, and living in a home where employees care for seniors can remedy that. With peers around, and many employees who are trained in elderly care who are available at all times ensures the safety of your relatives.

Selfcare

You aren’t trained for this, and you still need to have a life of your own outside of all of this, so it’s important to recognize when you’re being pushed too hard. You have to remember your needs are important too, and you still need to be the one to care for them. A lot of people feel guilt when it comes to caring for their relatives, as caring for yourself can feel selfish if you don’t have the time.

Pushing yourself too hard not only impacts your happiness, but it can cause you to feel what’s called caregiver burnout, which will only negatively impact your relationship with your relatives. You must learn when to take a timeout and when you need help with your responsibility.

Not everyone is prepared or able to care for their elderly relatives, and what’s important is making sure they get the proper care, from you or someone else.

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How To Encourage Your Kids To Study While They’re Stuck At Home

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Some kids absolutely love school and adore learning. They cannot wait to fill their brains with all kinds of different skills and understanding. There are also some who cannot really concentrate too much or simply do not want to learn new things in terms of the school system. They’d rather stimulate their brains in other ways and pick up skills in plenty of other areas. 

Due to covid, most of us seem to be working from home – and the kids are a part of this group. Since the breakout, they have been sent home and sent back to school a fair few times in order to cooperate with the lockdown/quarantine rules.

As a parent, you’re going to be in charge of how they have a lot more during the working week. You’re also going to be in charge of the learning they’ll have to do while they’re away from the school premises. While it might seem like a difficult task, it’s actually not too much effort! Here are some ways you can encourage your kids to study while they’re stuck at home:

Positive Reinforcement

Too much positivity can taint the value of it, but kids do need to be reinforced positively. There’s often a comparison between being stern and being nice with regard to grown-ups, but kids will need to be encouraged with a smile. If you can make them feel good about themselves and about the work they have ahead, then they’re going to be more inclined to get it done. 

Work With Them

If you make them do everything alone like that of an early 1900s teacher, then that strictness isn’t going to make them feel comfortable with what they have on their worksheets. They’ll look up to you and if they think you’re enjoying the work, then they will, too. Take, for instance, some of the worksheets (learn more about the kinds here) they’ll be given – some might be entirely away from their interest. If you work along with them, then it’ll keep their minds stimulated as they probably wouldn’t have expected it. You’ll probably make it fun for them, too, as they’ll see a side of you they’ve never seen. 

Get Them Into The Routine

Life is all about habits. If they’re out of a learning and working routine, then their minds will hate the idea of working from home and studying when they have to. If you keep them in a school mindset, then they’re going to be happier with learning. They’ll feel as though they have to. Once we get into a scheduled way of living, operating out of that cycle can feel pretty negative. 

Provide Rewards

While this might seem like an easy idea, it’s actually great for getting your kids excited. At first, they might just be doing what they must in order to get what they want at the end of it, but, as we said before, life is all about habits. They’ll get used to working in a particular way. Consciously and subconsciously, they’ll be learning things. They’ll become more interested in the things they’re studying.

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Divorce Amid a Pandemic: How the Virus Strains Relationships

When Wuhan — the first epicenter of the COVID-19 pandemic — lifted its 70-day quarantine in April, divorce rates have doubled compared to pre-lockdown figures. The number of people applying for divorce has soared so much that the local marriage administration was overwhelmed. People had to wait for three to four days before applying due to the sheer volume of applicants.

This trend was observed in major cities that locked down and forced couples to stay indoors. Across China, divorce filings spiked as things returned to normal. In the US, divorce rates soared by 34% from March to June 2020, compared to 2019 data. And in England, including London, experts forecast a divorce boom after the lockdown, based on the number of people looking for divorce advice online.

It’s no secret that the pandemic has created an enormous strain on relationships, and it has sent challenged couples seeking their divorce lawyers via Zoom. Forced to be together for most of the time, spouses nit-picked, perceived flaws are amplified, and deep-seated frustrations are unearthed. The virus has restructured not only healthcare systems but also families.

The Strain

It must be noted that many of the COVID-19 divorce cases were divorces waiting to happen. The pandemic didn’t drive a wedge between happy couples, but it easily drew couples who had existing issues apart. If a couple was hanging on by a thread, the pandemic drew them over the edge.

The issues don’t surprise divorce lawyers. In Wuhan, divorce papers were drafted over arguments on housework and childcare. Elsewhere, it was a combination of financial, emotional, and physical problems that created the last straw. In the US, the pandemic has plunged the economy into recession and hurt about 33 million jobs, with 13.6 million driven to joblessness. Strained finances challenge already strained marriages.

People also deal with higher levels of stress due to fear, anxiety, and worry over their health and the health problems of the people they know. This external stress affects interactions. Then, they have extremely limited outlets for these stressors: pubs are closed, gyms are closed, spas and hair salons are closed.

People face higher levels of stress than they have ever had before, but there’s nowhere to go but the four corners of a home, stuck with a person who becomes more annoying by the day. Whereas before, couples can regulate their relationships—when they can be together, when they are apart—now they can’t, and they are forced to confront things that they have avoided for many years. You have a recipe for a divorce boom.

In some dire situations, a spouse experiences domestic violence in the hands of their partner. Cut off from family and friends, the victim is left in a more vulnerable situation. Once the lockdown is lifted, the victims, understandably, will find a way to finally detach themselves from their abusers.

Not Just the Pandemic

It’s not fair, however, to simply blame the pandemic for every divorce filed post-lockdown. As mentioned earlier, a huge chunk of these soon-to-be divorcees already had issues before the pandemic, but the issue had only worsened during the lockdown. The issues they faced were independent of a health crisis — common problems involve incompatibility, lack of commitment, infidelity, and constant bickering.

Age could also be a factor in these divorces. Business Insider cites a study from the Institute for Family Studies that advocates the Goldilocks Theory of Marriage, which pegs an “ideal age” for entering married life. According to their studies, tying the knot too early or too late can put a marriage at risk. Meanwhile, people who married in their late 20s or early 30s are more likely to have a successful marriage.

Those who were married under the age of twenty showed the highest likelihood of divorce, at around 38%. The 20-24 age range showed a 27% divorce rate, which is higher than the age brackets 25-29 (14%), 30-34 (10%), and 35 and up (17%).

The article argues: if you were married during your teenage years, there’s a higher chance that you’re facing a problem financially and emotionally, as you’re still trying to find your footing in life. The pandemic might have amplified the issues.

When the Marriage Isn’t Working Anymore

For people who believe that their marriage is at the end of the rope, there are steps to prepare yourself and mitigate the damage.

  • Research Options — There are different options when it comes to divorce, and these vary depending on the state. Some couples enter mediation, litigation, or the traditional attorney-to-attorney process.
  • Gather Financial Information — You need a clear picture of your assets and liabilities, including investment accounts, bank accounts, pensions, loans, and more. All houses, properties, and even high-profile vehicles should be accounted for.
  • Create a Budget — Divorce is a financially grueling process, so you have to compute how much money you need to cover essential and discretionary living expenses.

As if going through a divorce isn’t stressful enough, divorcing through a pandemic is one of the most challenging things a person can experience. But the right tools and preparation can cushion your well-being and see you through the end (of the relationship and the pandemic). More importantly, soon-to-be-divorcees can take comfort in the fact that they are not alone, and that, like a health crisis, the stress will die down sooner or later.

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Simple Tips to Transitioning to Working-from-Home

If you’re one of the many office workers who have recently transitioned from working in an office to now working remotely from home, you might be pulling your hair out trying to figure out exactly how to make the environment work best for you. 

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Working from the comfort of your own home has huge pros, and a few cons. The lack of social interaction can be rough, and learning how to navigate meetings and face-to-face discussions via Skype or Zoom can make even the most introverted person wishing to be in the same room as their coworkers. 

One of the ways to reduce that stress though is to make sure that your home office environment is a welcoming place, thoroughly equipped to make your job easier to perform. If you haven’t already, now is the time to consider a dual monitor system. Whether you’re working on spreadsheets, going over a project with coworkers over the phone, or switching between two websites to compare, having two monitors greatly increases productivity. According to a survey performed by Jon Peddie Research, a second monitor increases your average output by 20 to 30 percent. 

Next, let’s talk about docking your laptop. If you’re accustomed to working on a larger monitor, and suddenly only have your laptop, you can consider docking your laptop. This will save on the cost of an entirely new computer, but allow you to use a larger or second monitor, as well as a traditional more ergonomic keyboard and mouse. For short amounts of time, a laptop can be a great machine to work on, but having a docking station is key in making sure your work station is a comfortable place to work. Not all laptop docking stations are made equally, though. If you’d like a thorough breakdown of some of the best options on the market in 2020, check out this review here

Finally, let’s address that persnickety video conference issue. 

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When you set up your video camera and microphone to hold meetings with coworkers or potential clients, take these tips into consideration:

  • Angle the video so that viewers are not looking up at your chin or into your nose. Have a straight-facing camera, or slightly higher than eye level.
  • Even though you’re at home, make sure your area looks professional. That means clear out any clutter from behind you that can be seen.
  • Consider the lighting. Lighting from behind is going to put a shadow on your face, so have your lighting in front or to the side of you. This could be as simple as changing the location of where you sit so that you’re using natural light from a window 
  • Use the mute button. Large conference calls can get noisy. Touch-to-talk can make a meeting much easier to deal with when several people are in attendance. 

If you’re new to working from home, it can be a stretch, but well worth it in the long-run. You may need to remind kids and family members that while you are at home, you do need to focus on work during specific hours. This can greatly decrease interruptions and have you focused and productive throughout your workday.

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Helping Others As A Foundation Of Your Business Dream: Where Do You Begin?

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Everybody is trying their hand at starting a business. And for the vast majority of people, their goal is very simple: to make money. But when you are looking to do something a bit more with your business skills have you thought about starting a business that can bring about a certain type of change? It doesn’t necessarily have to be social change; it could be for medical purposes or a charitable organization. But when you decide that you want to start helping others as a basic foundation of your business dream, where do you go to next?

Understanding The Concept And The Industry

You may have some sort of idea where you would like to go but this means you have got to dig deep into that industry. Even when you are doing something straightforward, whether it’s a dental business or something in the medical industry, you’ve got to think about the knock-on effects; which can include issues in terms of productivity or the well-being of staff and patients. And when it comes to something like productivity, it’s crucial to have the technical components in place. In the modern-day, every business relies on its technology to make the business run but also improve its productivity. You can read more here about the positive impacts of an IT infrastructure for the dental industry. But needless to say, when you understand the concept of the business you’ve got an informed opinion of where you can progress with it. As good as it is to have an idea you’ve got to work hard to corner a specific part of the market but also realize that the infrastructure is essential.

Focus On Feedback

Whatever the business idea, the focus is very simple: the customers. You’ve got to work on building a relationship with customers and this is where the right marketing practices are crucial but you’ve also got to make sure that you receive proper feedback. When you’re trying to help people and they are the customers, you can have your work cut out for you. And we all know the difficulty of getting good customer service! So when you are dealing with people in terms of helping them, they could be more vulnerable, which calls for a deft approach to customer service. But you’ve also got to remember that feedback is vital because it can help to nurture the company. Positive and negative feedback is as important as each other. It’s crucial to turn negative feedback into constructive criticism. This will benefit the customer and your processes. And you’ve got to remember that it’s an ongoing task. It’s not a good idea to ignore negative feedback. And even if you receive more positive reviews than anything if you can turn a customer round from a negative review to a positive one this will make a big difference to your business in a financial sense but also in a moral sense too.

Starting your own business to help others is admirable but you’ve also got to remember that in order to make a success of it, it is still a business. This means that there are numerous components that need to remain. Learn the basics before you progress.

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Making New Friends As An Adult

It can be hard for adults to make new friends. Maybe you’ve moved to a new place away from your old school friends, or maybe you’ve simply decided that it’s time for you to be more socially active. Whatever the case, your peers are out there. It might not be as easy to mingle with them as it was when you were in school, but there are definitely ways to meet new people in your age range. And we’re not just talking about dating. Finding a partner is easy, given all of the dating apps out there, but what about finding friends? The following pieces of advice should help you to start making new friends as an adult.

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Go out in your local town or city.

It might seem like a rather basic piece of advice, but simply going out in your local town or city is one of the best ways to meet new people. Obviously, you have to go out to the right places. You could start by going to your local coffee shop and having a quick lunch break there. Maybe you could even ask if there are any local groups or clubs that gather there, but that’ll be discussed in the final point. You might also want to visit your local pub on quiz night. You could meet some great people by doing that. You might end up in a team with some new people, and that could spark some new friendships.

Try new things.

You should also try new things if you want to make some new friends. It’s good to get out into the world and explore. This is about going beyond the suggestions in the first point. You should try adventurous things to both have new experiences and meet new people. You could take up biking and take part in events, for example. If that were to take you from place to place, you might want to check out these roof racks. You could store your bike safely on the roof of your car when you take it to events.

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Join a club.

As has been discussed throughout this article, getting out into the world and trying new things will help you to meet new people. You can make new friends on nights out or by stepping out of your comfort zone and trying adventurous new things that you might not usually do. But how do you make lasting friends that you’ll see more than once or twice? Well, joining a club is a good place to start. Think about an interest you have, and do some research to find groups of like-minded people in your local area.
Maybe you love reading, for example. So, you could find a book club in your nearest town or city. You’d be around fellow readers, and you could make some new friends. Obviously, you don’t have to choose a book club; you need to find a club that suits your interests. When you find people with fellow interests, you’ll already have some sort of connection before you’ve even got to know each other. That’s the great thing about joining a club. You’ll find a group of people that you can see on a regular basis, and you might just make some new friends.

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The Secret Worries Men Have: Some May Surprise You

Women can openly talk about their worries. How do they do that? They have no issues with getting their girlfriends together. Discussing body parts, sex issues and everything in between. Men? We struggle to talk about some of the serious stuff. We spend more time worrying in secret than we do discussing the problems and finding a solution. Here are the secret worries of most men. You may worry about them all, or a few. Either way, the message is stop doing it in secret and talk to someone. 

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Weight

It’s not just women who wonder about their weight and look at how to lose unwanted pounds. Men are just as conscious about it. But don’t voice their concerns. Things like “Moobs” which is additional body fat in the pectoral area are one of the biggest weight concerns of men this decade. We worry about how to lose weight. How to keep it off. If the loved ones in our lives will still find us attractive with a bit of weight around our middle area. If it worries you that much, don’t let it turn into more of a problem. Discuss your insecurities with your partners and perhaps look into a change of diet and regular exercise. 

Anxiety and depression

It is more common than we realise for men to struggle with things like anxiety and depression, but yet it is still seen as a taboo subject today. Depression can come in all different ways and can stem from the workplace, your relationship or how you feel about yourself and your own self-esteem and confidence issues. Anxiety can also be part of this, or a mental health struggle in its own right. There are many things you can try, herbal remedies where you can click here for more information. Talking therapies where you can work on that inner conversation that you have with yourself. Even just admitting there is an issue can be a huge positive step in the right direction to help you on the road to recovery. 

Being a good father

Why men worry about this in secret is bizarre as only sharing this with your family would put your mind at rest straight away. It’s very healthy to fear your performance as a dad. That is one of the reasons you are a good father. Everyone worries about whether you are doing things right. Women will quite be quite happy to discuss this whereas men shy away from the subject. Just be assured that if this is a worry, then you are doing a great job. 

Hair loss

Men can spend too much time worrying about things like hair loss. When it is something that can’t be helped unless you look at treatments. The best advice would be to embrace your new image. 

Being too feminine 

Finally, would you be shocked if I said men worry about being too feminine? It’s true. Some men worry about enjoying fine wines and chocolate. Watching soppy films. All could make them look womanly and that they lose their masculine edge. 

So there you have it. The secret worries that most men never talk about. However, talking about these things could make the worry go away. 

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