Making New Friends As An Adult

It can be hard for adults to make new friends. Maybe you’ve moved to a new place away from your old school friends, or maybe you’ve simply decided that it’s time for you to be more socially active. Whatever the case, your peers are out there. It might not be as easy to mingle with them as it was when you were in school, but there are definitely ways to meet new people in your age range. And we’re not just talking about dating. Finding a partner is easy, given all of the dating apps out there, but what about finding friends? The following pieces of advice should help you to start making new friends as an adult.

Picture Source

Go out in your local town or city.

It might seem like a rather basic piece of advice, but simply going out in your local town or city is one of the best ways to meet new people. Obviously, you have to go out to the right places. You could start by going to your local coffee shop and having a quick lunch break there. Maybe you could even ask if there are any local groups or clubs that gather there, but that’ll be discussed in the final point. You might also want to visit your local pub on quiz night. You could meet some great people by doing that. You might end up in a team with some new people, and that could spark some new friendships.

Try new things.

You should also try new things if you want to make some new friends. It’s good to get out into the world and explore. This is about going beyond the suggestions in the first point. You should try adventurous things to both have new experiences and meet new people. You could take up biking and take part in events, for example. If that were to take you from place to place, you might want to check out these roof racks. You could store your bike safely on the roof of your car when you take it to events.

Picture Source

Join a club.

As has been discussed throughout this article, getting out into the world and trying new things will help you to meet new people. You can make new friends on nights out or by stepping out of your comfort zone and trying adventurous new things that you might not usually do. But how do you make lasting friends that you’ll see more than once or twice? Well, joining a club is a good place to start. Think about an interest you have, and do some research to find groups of like-minded people in your local area.
Maybe you love reading, for example. So, you could find a book club in your nearest town or city. You’d be around fellow readers, and you could make some new friends. Obviously, you don’t have to choose a book club; you need to find a club that suits your interests. When you find people with fellow interests, you’ll already have some sort of connection before you’ve even got to know each other. That’s the great thing about joining a club. You’ll find a group of people that you can see on a regular basis, and you might just make some new friends.

Contributed Post.

If you like what you’ve read here, please let others know of this post, blog, and site.

And thanks for reading!  🙂

The Secret Worries Men Have: Some May Surprise You

Women can openly talk about their worries. How do they do that? They have no issues with getting their girlfriends together. Discussing body parts, sex issues and everything in between. Men? We struggle to talk about some of the serious stuff. We spend more time worrying in secret than we do discussing the problems and finding a solution. Here are the secret worries of most men. You may worry about them all, or a few. Either way, the message is stop doing it in secret and talk to someone. 

Image source – Pixabay – CC0 License

Weight

It’s not just women who wonder about their weight and look at how to lose unwanted pounds. Men are just as conscious about it. But don’t voice their concerns. Things like “Moobs” which is additional body fat in the pectoral area are one of the biggest weight concerns of men this decade. We worry about how to lose weight. How to keep it off. If the loved ones in our lives will still find us attractive with a bit of weight around our middle area. If it worries you that much, don’t let it turn into more of a problem. Discuss your insecurities with your partners and perhaps look into a change of diet and regular exercise. 

Anxiety and depression

It is more common than we realise for men to struggle with things like anxiety and depression, but yet it is still seen as a taboo subject today. Depression can come in all different ways and can stem from the workplace, your relationship or how you feel about yourself and your own self-esteem and confidence issues. Anxiety can also be part of this, or a mental health struggle in its own right. There are many things you can try, herbal remedies where you can click here for more information. Talking therapies where you can work on that inner conversation that you have with yourself. Even just admitting there is an issue can be a huge positive step in the right direction to help you on the road to recovery. 

Being a good father

Why men worry about this in secret is bizarre as only sharing this with your family would put your mind at rest straight away. It’s very healthy to fear your performance as a dad. That is one of the reasons you are a good father. Everyone worries about whether you are doing things right. Women will quite be quite happy to discuss this whereas men shy away from the subject. Just be assured that if this is a worry, then you are doing a great job. 

Hair loss

Men can spend too much time worrying about things like hair loss. When it is something that can’t be helped unless you look at treatments. The best advice would be to embrace your new image. 

Being too feminine 

Finally, would you be shocked if I said men worry about being too feminine? It’s true. Some men worry about enjoying fine wines and chocolate. Watching soppy films. All could make them look womanly and that they lose their masculine edge. 

So there you have it. The secret worries that most men never talk about. However, talking about these things could make the worry go away. 

Contributed Post.

If you like what you’ve read here, please let others know of this post, blog, and site.

And thanks for reading!  🙂

Three Step Remedy to Keep Your Spirits High During the Holidays

Originally posted by Silvernest Team on Nov 28, 2016

Three Step Remedy for the Holidays

The holiday season has arrived once again. While it can be a magical time with colorful lights, festive parties and gift exchange; it also can trigger feelings of grief, loneliness or generalized depression. This is not uncommon as baby boomers get older and become empty nesters, widowers or are long time single. This year, try our three-step remedy to explore your greatest talents and passions, and use them to create community and philanthropy as a great way to enliven the holidays.

Let’s get started!

A little self-exploration is a great way to gain powerful insights, and will naturally inspire you to engage and give. Begin by take an inventory of all the things you love to do. Take a moment to sit down at your table with a piece of paper, a pen and a cup of coffee or tea. Before you start – sit back, close your eyes and settle your mind.

Allow yourself to imagine a perfect sunny Saturday.

You have no chores, no obligations, and four hours to do whatever you want.  Ask yourself, What would I most want to do with this glorious day?” And then wait while various alternatives float to your mind. Write them down.

For some, the answer is as simple as taking a bath or reading a book. Others come up with golfing, taking a hike in Nature, working in the woodshop, or looking for shells on the beach. For others, it is making something artistic, cooking, or going shopping.

The answers you come up with are important, and often require little to no money. These ideas reflect the areas of life that gives you the most comfort and joy (to borrow from a famous Christmas carol). This is important, and can be a foundation of how to expand those things you love into a tool for engaging with others.

If doing something artistic was the top of your list- that is a powerful clue.

  • Explore: how can you expand your love of art into something bigger?
  • Engage: deepen your skills by taking a class. Not only will this sharpen your skills, but also introduce you to others who share the same passions.
  • Give: now, use your art to make small gifts (ornaments, cards, toys) and give them away to friends, a school, or a homeless shelter.

My grandfather was one of the happiest people I knew. He loved people, and would always fill his pockets with hard candy and give out a piece to everyone he met. He was someone who could never sit still and had endless talents. Well into his 90’s, he continued to explore, engage and give. When he could no longer work in his shop, his last years were spent wrapping coat hangers with yarn (keeps the shirts hanging nicely) and gave away hundreds to his children, grandchildren, and staff at his assisted living facility. He was adored, and never was without a smile.

The experience of loneliness is one of the most powerful signals from our bodies to act. There is a big difference between loneliness and depression, although they are often diagnosed as one. Feeling lonely is simply information- time to get out! Try this three-step remedy and see what happens.

Explore your passion more deeply, engage with others who share your interests and then give away our time, talents or gifts to others.

Children do this naturally. They may make pot holders, paint pictures or cut out paper snowflakes and then happily give them away without another thought. ‘Tis the season of sharing, caring and reciprocating. Come on in and join the fun!  What are some of your passions and interests that you have turned into tools to create community and philanthropy? We’d love to hear your stories on our Silvernest Facebook page. Join us and happy holidays!

Contributed Post.

If you like what you’ve read here, please let others know of this post, blog, and site.

And thanks for reading!  🙂

3 Dating Misconceptions You Need To Stop Believing

It’s so common to hear people complain about how modern dating is a nightmare and it’s impossible to find somebody that they are compatible with. But a lot of the time, people struggle to find success in their dating life because they believe some of the common misconceptions about dating. There are a lot of things that people get wrong, and it makes it impossible for them to find the right people to date and form successful relationships. These are the common dating misconceptions that you need to stop believing. 

Pixabay CCO License

Online Dating Is Terrible For Real Relationships 

Online dating should, in theory, be great for everybody because you can meet so many new people. But people tend to associate it with casual relationships and they often think that it’s terrible for people that want a real relationship. But that isn’t the case at all and online dating can actually be great. There are so many different dating sites to suit specific types of people so it’s important that you find the right ones. You also need to put time into your bio and come up with something interesting that gives people a sense of your personality. Don’t just write basic things about your interests, write about what kind of person you are and what you are looking for in a relationship. As long as you use it in the right way, online dating can be great. 

Shared Interests Are Essential 

Shared interests and hobbies are good when you first start dating somebody because it gives you something to talk about, but a lot of won’t date somebody if they don’t have much in common. But it’s not shared interests that are important, it’s shared values. That’s why sites like arablounge which match people that share cultures and religions are so good. It doesn’t matter too much if you have different hobbies, but it matters a lot if you fundamentally disagree about important aspects of your lifestyle. Always look for somebody that shares your values, and don’t get too caught up in interests. 

Relationships Solve All Your Problems 

There are so many people that are unhappy in their lives and they think that a relationship will fix it. Then they get into a relationship and they realise that they’re still not happy. Often, they assume that their partner must be the problem and they break it off. But the truth is, relationships won’t fix your personal issues and they will still be there if you start a relationship with somebody, no matter how amazing they are. If you want to be successful with dating, you should spend some time learning how to be happy on your own and dealing with any issues that you have. It’s a bit of a cliche, but you can’t love somebody else unless you love yourself. 

These dating misconceptions are believed by so many people and it ruins their chances of ever forming good relationships. But when you let go of these ideas, you will be far more successful.

Contributed Post.

If you like what you’ve read here, please let others know of this post, blog, and site.

And thanks for reading!  🙂

Why Dating 2.0 Is Not All Bad

Online dating has a surprisingly bad reputation. Even though more and more married couples admit they’ve met online, the public mind refuses to believe that cyber technology and screen time can provide a healthy ground for a love story. 

In my time, say the seniors, people met at school or through friends. Sure, a lot of happily married couples today have tied the knot with their college sweetheart. But not everyone gets to cross paths with their significant other through their day-to-day activities. When you’re stuck in a closed social circle, online dating offers a new perspective on things. 

Pexels – CC0 License 

It gives you more choice

First and foremost, dating sites are all about choice. Think of it as the romantic pendant of a networking platform such as LinkedIn. It gives you new insights into your surroundings, letting you meet new people who share your interests. While it’s no guarantee that you’re going to find your soulmate online, dedicated platforms such as Muslim dating sites or lawyer dating networks can help you to explore a micro-community. While it’s not to say you should only date people who share the same story and background, it can be a helpful approach to make friends when you’re new in town. 

You join the game with your eyes open

Your cyber dating journey begins with the creation of your profile. Your profile is, in many ways, similar to LinkedIn profiles. It’s a summary of who you are, except that you’re not trying to sell your professional skills and experience. Therefore, your dating profile lets you share what you expect from life and what makes you happy. For many online daters, it’s an exercise in defining their sense of purpose. Why does it matter? Typically, as you try to describe what you want to achieve in life through your profile, you get a better sense of who you are and what you need from a dating partner. The simple act of creating your profile and filling up the blanks gives you time for self-reflection. 

You don’t waste time

Dating apps have become a swiping exercise. Swipe right, swipe left, you choose whether you like the person or not. At first, it can appear a little too superficial. Most users describe their Tinder or other app interactions in terms of choosing whether the person in the photo is hot or not. It can feel pretty much like shopping for your next date. But in reality, the process happens naturally in real life too. You have a type, and therefore, you’re more likely to be attracted by people who share the same features. While the dating swipes might feel shallow, it’s an extension of your taste. You don’t waste time getting to know people who don’t fit your type. 

You communicate more

The advantage of online communication is that, for a lot of people, chatting comes easier than having a face-to-face conversation with a stranger. Therefore, the dating revolution gives busy introverts the ideal platform to get to know each other and share jokes and personal stories even before their first meeting. Why does it matter? Because you can be relaxed on your first actual date if you’ve already become cyber-friends. 

Is online dating as bad as the media make it to be? The debate is still open. However, depending on what you need and seek, it can be the perfect solution for you. After all, we’re all different, so it’s only fair to offer different dating paths. 

Contributed Post.

If you like what you’ve read here, please let others know of this post, blog, and site.

And thanks for reading!  🙂

Social Enablers: Builders of Happiness and Health

Originally posted by Margaret-Ann Burness on silvernest.com on Nov 27, 2017

social-enablers

A few years ago, I went cellphone shopping with my seventy-year-old mom. Much to my surprise, she wasn’t shopping for a basic phone. No, she wanted an iPhone. I was shocked. I knew she could handle the upgraded technology, but I just assumed she wanted the path of least resistance and stay with what she knew. Leave it to my mom, once again, to prove that I don’t know it all.  

Like many of my peers in their 40s and early 50s, I was too quick to put her and her generation into a box. I made unfounded assumptions, and lumped my mom into the stereotypical “older generation” of yesteryear, and I was astounded by her new fearless, “all in” approach to technology.  

But then why should I be surprised? Fearlessness is what Mom’s generation was built on. Just think back to the 1950s. Their approach to so many different things—innovation, manufacturing, and social evolution—is their hallmark. And the 65.2 million boomers retiring look nothing like their predecessors, and their digital adoption is the greatest example of that.  

And they’re not dabblers either. That’s right, boomers today not only use, but also engage in technology daily and even hourly.  

What’s the Attraction?  

It’s all rooted in Generation Z. It’s “grandchild factor.” Let’s be honest, it’s a big motivator – I mean, my mom barely acknowledges me when my daughter is around. But beyond those cute smiles and first-day-of-school pictures, the digital realm of possibility triggered their “take charge” attitudes as it did for my mom. Just like it did for Rebecca on the NBC’s mega hit “This is Us.” Her character joined Facebook to see pictures of her son’s newborn baby and it eventually opened up a new world of possibilities for her like connecting with old friends and even leading to a second marriage. 

Keeping up with family and friends is the number one reason most all us go online, regardless of age. Think about it. While we all love our alone time, my introverted self especially, in the end we’re pack animals. We crave social connection. And today, with so many families and friends spread across the country, social platforms like Facebook and new technology such as smart phones have become our connectors. With that in mind, it only makes sense that all generations, especially boomers, would want to engage. For my mom, it was her innate yearning to be closer to me and my family who live over 2000 miles away. For me, it’s about staying close to friends whether down the street or across the country, and reconnecting with family, around the world, who I wouldn’t otherwise see.  

So, it’s no wonder that technology adoption is exploding among all generations including boomers. It just makes us happier and when we’re happier, we’re healthier. Seriously. AARP reports that living alone over 50 is the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day on our health and studies have shown that loneliness can increase the likelihood of morality by as much as 30%.   

Craving socialization also opens to a window as to why boomers and seniors are looking into alternative aging options like co-housing and house sharing. Not only are they the generation of invention, but they are also demanding more from their lives and retirement than their parents.   

So, this holiday season, when your mom or dad asks for an iPad or a smart phone – don’t laugh. In fact, encourage it and encourage them to build their social connections both on and offline. Not only can it improve their happiness but their health, too. And it may even bring everyone in your family closer. And to that point, while technology is fantastic way to build social connections, nothing replaces genuine one-on-one contact – for them or for you.  So, encourage their technology whimsy, but also take the opportunity to reconnect and inspire them to be more social overall. 

Contributed Post.

If you like what you’ve read here, please let others know of this post, blog, and site.

And thanks for reading!  🙂

4 Reasons The Young Have It Tougher Than People Think

Pexels (CC0 Licence)

As an adult, it can sometimes be difficult to resist the temptation to look at younger generations with a mix of envy and cynicism. One only has to spend a few moments on social media or watching rolling news to hear a story about how, supposedly, modern teenagers are the “snowflake” generation – while the list of industries that have supposedly been “killed” by millennials grows by the day. If an alien were to land on Earth tomorrow and get their information from the average cable news channel, they’d be forgiven for wondering what modern youngsters were up to, given the way they are portrayed in the media.

However, for those of us who have enough years under our belts to be able to look back on adolescence with some detachment, it’s wise to be a bit more forgiving. For one thing, every generation that has passed has, at one stage, been subject to the same cynicism from older generations. Everyone who has ever been a teenager has heard similar criticisms ringing in their ears and lamented that grown-ups “just don’t understand”. There is more than a grain of truth in that complaint. While adults may be envious of the opportunities and freedoms available to younger generations, we can never really understand the pressures that are placed on them.

If you doubt this for a moment, read on below to see why there are plenty of reasons why being a teenager or young adult in the present day is harder than it’s ever been.

1. Growing up in the digital age is scary

Anyone who grew up in the 20th century, or even the earlier years of the 21st, will have faced mostly the same pressures during their school days. Peer pressure, bullying and puberty all made adolescence a minefield – whether you were a teen in the 1950s or the 1990s. However, at no time have the stakes been quite as high as they are for someone who is at school in the present day. Thanks to the development of technology, we’ve moved quickly from being the internet age to the smartphone age.

While there is no denying that technology has offered us no end of opportunities, it has also brought with it an equally large number of headaches, and there is no doubt that it has brought a new dimension to bullying. Malicious rumours, unflattering photos and cruel videos are all much easier to share and can spread much more widely now than even a decade ago. Think back to how tough your school days were. Now imagine how much harder they would have been if everybody in your school had a multimedia editing suite in their pocket.

2. The world is in a period of flux

Pexels (CC0 Licence)

There has long been an unspoken contract between generations that dictates that the younger one will inherit the world from its seniors in a better condition than when the latter received it. Through advances in the fields of medicine, technology and more besides, this has generally been the case, particularly financially. However, as we stand on the cusp of a new decade, it’s impossible for this generation to say that they will be able to keep the aforementioned contract.

The millennial and post-millennial generations are set to be the first in centuries to receive a world in worse shape than the generation before. Today’s young people are likely to be poorer than the previous cohorts. The average wage in the US has risen by 67% since 1970, which is great. Over the same period, however, the majority of basic living expenses have increased by more than that – in some cases multiplying many times over. That’s the world our young people are getting ready for.

Not only this, the young are inheriting a planet which is, by the agreement of a majority of scientists, entering a period of climate emergency. All of this, and they’re constantly being told that all of this is somehow their fault. It’s no wonder that the need for teen anxiety treatment is growing, when you look at it that way. It’s on older generations to better understand the pressures teenagers face.

3. More is expected of teens nowadays

Much is made of the increased opportunities on offer for today’s children, and with good reason. A teenager in 2019 will have access to information, initiatives and organisations that would have been beyond the wildest dreams of their parents or grandparents at the same age. There’s no doubt that this is something that goes in the “advantage” column for a modern teenager.

There is, of course, a “but” attached to this point, which is that with this greater level of opportunity comes more responsibility. By the time a modern teenager graduates from college, they are likely to be saddled with debt that could take them decades to pay back – and facing a cost of living that far exceeds what their grandparents experienced. In addition, to compete for the college places they want, teenagers may have to do unpaid voluntary work and add more extracurricular activities to stay ahead of the pack. 

4. They’re expected to enjoy all of this

Amid the need to look out for cyberbullying, save more money and live a greener lifestyle, one thing that hasn’t changed about being a teenager is the general attitude of adults towards their younger counterparts. Now, this may sound like a criticism of adults, but it really isn’t. The way we look at the world changes as we get older, and it makes sense that when you are a gainfully-employed adult paying taxes in the “real” world, the concerns of teenagers will seem quite minor by comparison. 

The thing is, it’s only through experience that we can make that comparison – so it’s a little unfair to expect teenagers to have that same perspective when they’ve had so much less time to get that experience. There are so many demands on them to grow up faster than we ever had to, and we’re expecting them to be grateful for a world that is more expensive, more intrusive and facing more pronounced changes than any other recent generation faced. 

Pixabay (CC0 Licence)

So if you find yourself any time soon looking at younger people with that mix of envy and cynicism, it’s worth remembering the above and giving them the leeway you wanted when you were their age.

Contributed Post.

If you like what you’ve read here, please let others know of this post, blog, and site.

And thanks for reading!  🙂