How To Be A Responsible Carer

As we get older in life, our responsibilities change throughout, and sometimes we have to take on the responsibility of caring for others. Not everyone is prepared to care for other people, and it can be a stressful ordeal if it came unexpectedly. For a lot of people, the idea of having to take care of your elderly relatives is inevitable, and only a matter of time, but how do you tackle that when the time comes? It’s not like you’re trained for it, and there’s a lot of emotions involved too. You must know how to handle the situation, and it can be different based on the individual.

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Elderly care

When it comes to elderly care, there’s a lot you need to know if you’re going to take on the role of their carer. For example, if a relative is dealing with Alzheimer’s, it can be very difficult for both parties involved. You’ll need to know how to act and treat them daily, and failing to do so can cause a lot of stress. You need to take it upon yourself to understand the whole situation and understand their needs. If they can no longer care for themselves, those needs need to be taken care of by someone else – is that something you can do? 

Making hard decisions

Many people find it very difficult to make time for their elderly parents to care for them, and that comes with difficult decisions. There are carers you can hire to take care of things while you’re not around, but that in itself can be difficult to trust.

Trusting the care of your relatives to another person can be difficult, but making sure their needs are met is very important. Sometimes elderly care homes are the better choice, as they offer many benefits. Living alone without the ability to care for yourself can get lonely, and living in a home where employees care for seniors can remedy that. With peers around, and many employees who are trained in elderly care who are available at all times ensures the safety of your relatives.

Selfcare

You aren’t trained for this, and you still need to have a life of your own outside of all of this, so it’s important to recognize when you’re being pushed too hard. You have to remember your needs are important too, and you still need to be the one to care for them. A lot of people feel guilt when it comes to caring for their relatives, as caring for yourself can feel selfish if you don’t have the time.

Pushing yourself too hard not only impacts your happiness, but it can cause you to feel what’s called caregiver burnout, which will only negatively impact your relationship with your relatives. You must learn when to take a timeout and when you need help with your responsibility.

Not everyone is prepared or able to care for their elderly relatives, and what’s important is making sure they get the proper care, from you or someone else.

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How To Encourage Your Kids To Study While They’re Stuck At Home

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Some kids absolutely love school and adore learning. They cannot wait to fill their brains with all kinds of different skills and understanding. There are also some who cannot really concentrate too much or simply do not want to learn new things in terms of the school system. They’d rather stimulate their brains in other ways and pick up skills in plenty of other areas. 

Due to covid, most of us seem to be working from home – and the kids are a part of this group. Since the breakout, they have been sent home and sent back to school a fair few times in order to cooperate with the lockdown/quarantine rules.

As a parent, you’re going to be in charge of how they have a lot more during the working week. You’re also going to be in charge of the learning they’ll have to do while they’re away from the school premises. While it might seem like a difficult task, it’s actually not too much effort! Here are some ways you can encourage your kids to study while they’re stuck at home:

Positive Reinforcement

Too much positivity can taint the value of it, but kids do need to be reinforced positively. There’s often a comparison between being stern and being nice with regard to grown-ups, but kids will need to be encouraged with a smile. If you can make them feel good about themselves and about the work they have ahead, then they’re going to be more inclined to get it done. 

Work With Them

If you make them do everything alone like that of an early 1900s teacher, then that strictness isn’t going to make them feel comfortable with what they have on their worksheets. They’ll look up to you and if they think you’re enjoying the work, then they will, too. Take, for instance, some of the worksheets (learn more about the kinds here) they’ll be given – some might be entirely away from their interest. If you work along with them, then it’ll keep their minds stimulated as they probably wouldn’t have expected it. You’ll probably make it fun for them, too, as they’ll see a side of you they’ve never seen. 

Get Them Into The Routine

Life is all about habits. If they’re out of a learning and working routine, then their minds will hate the idea of working from home and studying when they have to. If you keep them in a school mindset, then they’re going to be happier with learning. They’ll feel as though they have to. Once we get into a scheduled way of living, operating out of that cycle can feel pretty negative. 

Provide Rewards

While this might seem like an easy idea, it’s actually great for getting your kids excited. At first, they might just be doing what they must in order to get what they want at the end of it, but, as we said before, life is all about habits. They’ll get used to working in a particular way. Consciously and subconsciously, they’ll be learning things. They’ll become more interested in the things they’re studying.

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Divorce Amid a Pandemic: How the Virus Strains Relationships

When Wuhan — the first epicenter of the COVID-19 pandemic — lifted its 70-day quarantine in April, divorce rates have doubled compared to pre-lockdown figures. The number of people applying for divorce has soared so much that the local marriage administration was overwhelmed. People had to wait for three to four days before applying due to the sheer volume of applicants.

This trend was observed in major cities that locked down and forced couples to stay indoors. Across China, divorce filings spiked as things returned to normal. In the US, divorce rates soared by 34% from March to June 2020, compared to 2019 data. And in England, including London, experts forecast a divorce boom after the lockdown, based on the number of people looking for divorce advice online.

It’s no secret that the pandemic has created an enormous strain on relationships, and it has sent challenged couples seeking their divorce lawyers via Zoom. Forced to be together for most of the time, spouses nit-picked, perceived flaws are amplified, and deep-seated frustrations are unearthed. The virus has restructured not only healthcare systems but also families.

The Strain

It must be noted that many of the COVID-19 divorce cases were divorces waiting to happen. The pandemic didn’t drive a wedge between happy couples, but it easily drew couples who had existing issues apart. If a couple was hanging on by a thread, the pandemic drew them over the edge.

The issues don’t surprise divorce lawyers. In Wuhan, divorce papers were drafted over arguments on housework and childcare. Elsewhere, it was a combination of financial, emotional, and physical problems that created the last straw. In the US, the pandemic has plunged the economy into recession and hurt about 33 million jobs, with 13.6 million driven to joblessness. Strained finances challenge already strained marriages.

People also deal with higher levels of stress due to fear, anxiety, and worry over their health and the health problems of the people they know. This external stress affects interactions. Then, they have extremely limited outlets for these stressors: pubs are closed, gyms are closed, spas and hair salons are closed.

People face higher levels of stress than they have ever had before, but there’s nowhere to go but the four corners of a home, stuck with a person who becomes more annoying by the day. Whereas before, couples can regulate their relationships—when they can be together, when they are apart—now they can’t, and they are forced to confront things that they have avoided for many years. You have a recipe for a divorce boom.

In some dire situations, a spouse experiences domestic violence in the hands of their partner. Cut off from family and friends, the victim is left in a more vulnerable situation. Once the lockdown is lifted, the victims, understandably, will find a way to finally detach themselves from their abusers.

Not Just the Pandemic

It’s not fair, however, to simply blame the pandemic for every divorce filed post-lockdown. As mentioned earlier, a huge chunk of these soon-to-be divorcees already had issues before the pandemic, but the issue had only worsened during the lockdown. The issues they faced were independent of a health crisis — common problems involve incompatibility, lack of commitment, infidelity, and constant bickering.

Age could also be a factor in these divorces. Business Insider cites a study from the Institute for Family Studies that advocates the Goldilocks Theory of Marriage, which pegs an “ideal age” for entering married life. According to their studies, tying the knot too early or too late can put a marriage at risk. Meanwhile, people who married in their late 20s or early 30s are more likely to have a successful marriage.

Those who were married under the age of twenty showed the highest likelihood of divorce, at around 38%. The 20-24 age range showed a 27% divorce rate, which is higher than the age brackets 25-29 (14%), 30-34 (10%), and 35 and up (17%).

The article argues: if you were married during your teenage years, there’s a higher chance that you’re facing a problem financially and emotionally, as you’re still trying to find your footing in life. The pandemic might have amplified the issues.

When the Marriage Isn’t Working Anymore

For people who believe that their marriage is at the end of the rope, there are steps to prepare yourself and mitigate the damage.

  • Research Options — There are different options when it comes to divorce, and these vary depending on the state. Some couples enter mediation, litigation, or the traditional attorney-to-attorney process.
  • Gather Financial Information — You need a clear picture of your assets and liabilities, including investment accounts, bank accounts, pensions, loans, and more. All houses, properties, and even high-profile vehicles should be accounted for.
  • Create a Budget — Divorce is a financially grueling process, so you have to compute how much money you need to cover essential and discretionary living expenses.

As if going through a divorce isn’t stressful enough, divorcing through a pandemic is one of the most challenging things a person can experience. But the right tools and preparation can cushion your well-being and see you through the end (of the relationship and the pandemic). More importantly, soon-to-be-divorcees can take comfort in the fact that they are not alone, and that, like a health crisis, the stress will die down sooner or later.

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Simple Tips to Transitioning to Working-from-Home

If you’re one of the many office workers who have recently transitioned from working in an office to now working remotely from home, you might be pulling your hair out trying to figure out exactly how to make the environment work best for you. 

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Working from the comfort of your own home has huge pros, and a few cons. The lack of social interaction can be rough, and learning how to navigate meetings and face-to-face discussions via Skype or Zoom can make even the most introverted person wishing to be in the same room as their coworkers. 

One of the ways to reduce that stress though is to make sure that your home office environment is a welcoming place, thoroughly equipped to make your job easier to perform. If you haven’t already, now is the time to consider a dual monitor system. Whether you’re working on spreadsheets, going over a project with coworkers over the phone, or switching between two websites to compare, having two monitors greatly increases productivity. According to a survey performed by Jon Peddie Research, a second monitor increases your average output by 20 to 30 percent. 

Next, let’s talk about docking your laptop. If you’re accustomed to working on a larger monitor, and suddenly only have your laptop, you can consider docking your laptop. This will save on the cost of an entirely new computer, but allow you to use a larger or second monitor, as well as a traditional more ergonomic keyboard and mouse. For short amounts of time, a laptop can be a great machine to work on, but having a docking station is key in making sure your work station is a comfortable place to work. Not all laptop docking stations are made equally, though. If you’d like a thorough breakdown of some of the best options on the market in 2020, check out this review here

Finally, let’s address that persnickety video conference issue. 

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When you set up your video camera and microphone to hold meetings with coworkers or potential clients, take these tips into consideration:

  • Angle the video so that viewers are not looking up at your chin or into your nose. Have a straight-facing camera, or slightly higher than eye level.
  • Even though you’re at home, make sure your area looks professional. That means clear out any clutter from behind you that can be seen.
  • Consider the lighting. Lighting from behind is going to put a shadow on your face, so have your lighting in front or to the side of you. This could be as simple as changing the location of where you sit so that you’re using natural light from a window 
  • Use the mute button. Large conference calls can get noisy. Touch-to-talk can make a meeting much easier to deal with when several people are in attendance. 

If you’re new to working from home, it can be a stretch, but well worth it in the long-run. You may need to remind kids and family members that while you are at home, you do need to focus on work during specific hours. This can greatly decrease interruptions and have you focused and productive throughout your workday.

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Helping Others As A Foundation Of Your Business Dream: Where Do You Begin?

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Everybody is trying their hand at starting a business. And for the vast majority of people, their goal is very simple: to make money. But when you are looking to do something a bit more with your business skills have you thought about starting a business that can bring about a certain type of change? It doesn’t necessarily have to be social change; it could be for medical purposes or a charitable organization. But when you decide that you want to start helping others as a basic foundation of your business dream, where do you go to next?

Understanding The Concept And The Industry

You may have some sort of idea where you would like to go but this means you have got to dig deep into that industry. Even when you are doing something straightforward, whether it’s a dental business or something in the medical industry, you’ve got to think about the knock-on effects; which can include issues in terms of productivity or the well-being of staff and patients. And when it comes to something like productivity, it’s crucial to have the technical components in place. In the modern-day, every business relies on its technology to make the business run but also improve its productivity. You can read more here about the positive impacts of an IT infrastructure for the dental industry. But needless to say, when you understand the concept of the business you’ve got an informed opinion of where you can progress with it. As good as it is to have an idea you’ve got to work hard to corner a specific part of the market but also realize that the infrastructure is essential.

Focus On Feedback

Whatever the business idea, the focus is very simple: the customers. You’ve got to work on building a relationship with customers and this is where the right marketing practices are crucial but you’ve also got to make sure that you receive proper feedback. When you’re trying to help people and they are the customers, you can have your work cut out for you. And we all know the difficulty of getting good customer service! So when you are dealing with people in terms of helping them, they could be more vulnerable, which calls for a deft approach to customer service. But you’ve also got to remember that feedback is vital because it can help to nurture the company. Positive and negative feedback is as important as each other. It’s crucial to turn negative feedback into constructive criticism. This will benefit the customer and your processes. And you’ve got to remember that it’s an ongoing task. It’s not a good idea to ignore negative feedback. And even if you receive more positive reviews than anything if you can turn a customer round from a negative review to a positive one this will make a big difference to your business in a financial sense but also in a moral sense too.

Starting your own business to help others is admirable but you’ve also got to remember that in order to make a success of it, it is still a business. This means that there are numerous components that need to remain. Learn the basics before you progress.

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Making New Friends As An Adult

It can be hard for adults to make new friends. Maybe you’ve moved to a new place away from your old school friends, or maybe you’ve simply decided that it’s time for you to be more socially active. Whatever the case, your peers are out there. It might not be as easy to mingle with them as it was when you were in school, but there are definitely ways to meet new people in your age range. And we’re not just talking about dating. Finding a partner is easy, given all of the dating apps out there, but what about finding friends? The following pieces of advice should help you to start making new friends as an adult.

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Go out in your local town or city.

It might seem like a rather basic piece of advice, but simply going out in your local town or city is one of the best ways to meet new people. Obviously, you have to go out to the right places. You could start by going to your local coffee shop and having a quick lunch break there. Maybe you could even ask if there are any local groups or clubs that gather there, but that’ll be discussed in the final point. You might also want to visit your local pub on quiz night. You could meet some great people by doing that. You might end up in a team with some new people, and that could spark some new friendships.

Try new things.

You should also try new things if you want to make some new friends. It’s good to get out into the world and explore. This is about going beyond the suggestions in the first point. You should try adventurous things to both have new experiences and meet new people. You could take up biking and take part in events, for example. If that were to take you from place to place, you might want to check out these roof racks. You could store your bike safely on the roof of your car when you take it to events.

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Join a club.

As has been discussed throughout this article, getting out into the world and trying new things will help you to meet new people. You can make new friends on nights out or by stepping out of your comfort zone and trying adventurous new things that you might not usually do. But how do you make lasting friends that you’ll see more than once or twice? Well, joining a club is a good place to start. Think about an interest you have, and do some research to find groups of like-minded people in your local area.
Maybe you love reading, for example. So, you could find a book club in your nearest town or city. You’d be around fellow readers, and you could make some new friends. Obviously, you don’t have to choose a book club; you need to find a club that suits your interests. When you find people with fellow interests, you’ll already have some sort of connection before you’ve even got to know each other. That’s the great thing about joining a club. You’ll find a group of people that you can see on a regular basis, and you might just make some new friends.

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The Secret Worries Men Have: Some May Surprise You

Women can openly talk about their worries. How do they do that? They have no issues with getting their girlfriends together. Discussing body parts, sex issues and everything in between. Men? We struggle to talk about some of the serious stuff. We spend more time worrying in secret than we do discussing the problems and finding a solution. Here are the secret worries of most men. You may worry about them all, or a few. Either way, the message is stop doing it in secret and talk to someone. 

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Weight

It’s not just women who wonder about their weight and look at how to lose unwanted pounds. Men are just as conscious about it. But don’t voice their concerns. Things like “Moobs” which is additional body fat in the pectoral area are one of the biggest weight concerns of men this decade. We worry about how to lose weight. How to keep it off. If the loved ones in our lives will still find us attractive with a bit of weight around our middle area. If it worries you that much, don’t let it turn into more of a problem. Discuss your insecurities with your partners and perhaps look into a change of diet and regular exercise. 

Anxiety and depression

It is more common than we realise for men to struggle with things like anxiety and depression, but yet it is still seen as a taboo subject today. Depression can come in all different ways and can stem from the workplace, your relationship or how you feel about yourself and your own self-esteem and confidence issues. Anxiety can also be part of this, or a mental health struggle in its own right. There are many things you can try, herbal remedies where you can click here for more information. Talking therapies where you can work on that inner conversation that you have with yourself. Even just admitting there is an issue can be a huge positive step in the right direction to help you on the road to recovery. 

Being a good father

Why men worry about this in secret is bizarre as only sharing this with your family would put your mind at rest straight away. It’s very healthy to fear your performance as a dad. That is one of the reasons you are a good father. Everyone worries about whether you are doing things right. Women will quite be quite happy to discuss this whereas men shy away from the subject. Just be assured that if this is a worry, then you are doing a great job. 

Hair loss

Men can spend too much time worrying about things like hair loss. When it is something that can’t be helped unless you look at treatments. The best advice would be to embrace your new image. 

Being too feminine 

Finally, would you be shocked if I said men worry about being too feminine? It’s true. Some men worry about enjoying fine wines and chocolate. Watching soppy films. All could make them look womanly and that they lose their masculine edge. 

So there you have it. The secret worries that most men never talk about. However, talking about these things could make the worry go away. 

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Three Step Remedy to Keep Your Spirits High During the Holidays

Originally posted by Silvernest Team on Nov 28, 2016

Three Step Remedy for the Holidays

The holiday season has arrived once again. While it can be a magical time with colorful lights, festive parties and gift exchange; it also can trigger feelings of grief, loneliness or generalized depression. This is not uncommon as baby boomers get older and become empty nesters, widowers or are long time single. This year, try our three-step remedy to explore your greatest talents and passions, and use them to create community and philanthropy as a great way to enliven the holidays.

Let’s get started!

A little self-exploration is a great way to gain powerful insights, and will naturally inspire you to engage and give. Begin by take an inventory of all the things you love to do. Take a moment to sit down at your table with a piece of paper, a pen and a cup of coffee or tea. Before you start – sit back, close your eyes and settle your mind.

Allow yourself to imagine a perfect sunny Saturday.

You have no chores, no obligations, and four hours to do whatever you want.  Ask yourself, What would I most want to do with this glorious day?” And then wait while various alternatives float to your mind. Write them down.

For some, the answer is as simple as taking a bath or reading a book. Others come up with golfing, taking a hike in Nature, working in the woodshop, or looking for shells on the beach. For others, it is making something artistic, cooking, or going shopping.

The answers you come up with are important, and often require little to no money. These ideas reflect the areas of life that gives you the most comfort and joy (to borrow from a famous Christmas carol). This is important, and can be a foundation of how to expand those things you love into a tool for engaging with others.

If doing something artistic was the top of your list- that is a powerful clue.

  • Explore: how can you expand your love of art into something bigger?
  • Engage: deepen your skills by taking a class. Not only will this sharpen your skills, but also introduce you to others who share the same passions.
  • Give: now, use your art to make small gifts (ornaments, cards, toys) and give them away to friends, a school, or a homeless shelter.

My grandfather was one of the happiest people I knew. He loved people, and would always fill his pockets with hard candy and give out a piece to everyone he met. He was someone who could never sit still and had endless talents. Well into his 90’s, he continued to explore, engage and give. When he could no longer work in his shop, his last years were spent wrapping coat hangers with yarn (keeps the shirts hanging nicely) and gave away hundreds to his children, grandchildren, and staff at his assisted living facility. He was adored, and never was without a smile.

The experience of loneliness is one of the most powerful signals from our bodies to act. There is a big difference between loneliness and depression, although they are often diagnosed as one. Feeling lonely is simply information- time to get out! Try this three-step remedy and see what happens.

Explore your passion more deeply, engage with others who share your interests and then give away our time, talents or gifts to others.

Children do this naturally. They may make pot holders, paint pictures or cut out paper snowflakes and then happily give them away without another thought. ‘Tis the season of sharing, caring and reciprocating. Come on in and join the fun!  What are some of your passions and interests that you have turned into tools to create community and philanthropy? We’d love to hear your stories on our Silvernest Facebook page. Join us and happy holidays!

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3 Dating Misconceptions You Need To Stop Believing

It’s so common to hear people complain about how modern dating is a nightmare and it’s impossible to find somebody that they are compatible with. But a lot of the time, people struggle to find success in their dating life because they believe some of the common misconceptions about dating. There are a lot of things that people get wrong, and it makes it impossible for them to find the right people to date and form successful relationships. These are the common dating misconceptions that you need to stop believing. 

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Online Dating Is Terrible For Real Relationships 

Online dating should, in theory, be great for everybody because you can meet so many new people. But people tend to associate it with casual relationships and they often think that it’s terrible for people that want a real relationship. But that isn’t the case at all and online dating can actually be great. There are so many different dating sites to suit specific types of people so it’s important that you find the right ones. You also need to put time into your bio and come up with something interesting that gives people a sense of your personality. Don’t just write basic things about your interests, write about what kind of person you are and what you are looking for in a relationship. As long as you use it in the right way, online dating can be great. 

Shared Interests Are Essential 

Shared interests and hobbies are good when you first start dating somebody because it gives you something to talk about, but a lot of won’t date somebody if they don’t have much in common. But it’s not shared interests that are important, it’s shared values. That’s why sites like arablounge which match people that share cultures and religions are so good. It doesn’t matter too much if you have different hobbies, but it matters a lot if you fundamentally disagree about important aspects of your lifestyle. Always look for somebody that shares your values, and don’t get too caught up in interests. 

Relationships Solve All Your Problems 

There are so many people that are unhappy in their lives and they think that a relationship will fix it. Then they get into a relationship and they realise that they’re still not happy. Often, they assume that their partner must be the problem and they break it off. But the truth is, relationships won’t fix your personal issues and they will still be there if you start a relationship with somebody, no matter how amazing they are. If you want to be successful with dating, you should spend some time learning how to be happy on your own and dealing with any issues that you have. It’s a bit of a cliche, but you can’t love somebody else unless you love yourself. 

These dating misconceptions are believed by so many people and it ruins their chances of ever forming good relationships. But when you let go of these ideas, you will be far more successful.

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Why Dating 2.0 Is Not All Bad

Online dating has a surprisingly bad reputation. Even though more and more married couples admit they’ve met online, the public mind refuses to believe that cyber technology and screen time can provide a healthy ground for a love story. 

In my time, say the seniors, people met at school or through friends. Sure, a lot of happily married couples today have tied the knot with their college sweetheart. But not everyone gets to cross paths with their significant other through their day-to-day activities. When you’re stuck in a closed social circle, online dating offers a new perspective on things. 

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It gives you more choice

First and foremost, dating sites are all about choice. Think of it as the romantic pendant of a networking platform such as LinkedIn. It gives you new insights into your surroundings, letting you meet new people who share your interests. While it’s no guarantee that you’re going to find your soulmate online, dedicated platforms such as Muslim dating sites or lawyer dating networks can help you to explore a micro-community. While it’s not to say you should only date people who share the same story and background, it can be a helpful approach to make friends when you’re new in town. 

You join the game with your eyes open

Your cyber dating journey begins with the creation of your profile. Your profile is, in many ways, similar to LinkedIn profiles. It’s a summary of who you are, except that you’re not trying to sell your professional skills and experience. Therefore, your dating profile lets you share what you expect from life and what makes you happy. For many online daters, it’s an exercise in defining their sense of purpose. Why does it matter? Typically, as you try to describe what you want to achieve in life through your profile, you get a better sense of who you are and what you need from a dating partner. The simple act of creating your profile and filling up the blanks gives you time for self-reflection. 

You don’t waste time

Dating apps have become a swiping exercise. Swipe right, swipe left, you choose whether you like the person or not. At first, it can appear a little too superficial. Most users describe their Tinder or other app interactions in terms of choosing whether the person in the photo is hot or not. It can feel pretty much like shopping for your next date. But in reality, the process happens naturally in real life too. You have a type, and therefore, you’re more likely to be attracted by people who share the same features. While the dating swipes might feel shallow, it’s an extension of your taste. You don’t waste time getting to know people who don’t fit your type. 

You communicate more

The advantage of online communication is that, for a lot of people, chatting comes easier than having a face-to-face conversation with a stranger. Therefore, the dating revolution gives busy introverts the ideal platform to get to know each other and share jokes and personal stories even before their first meeting. Why does it matter? Because you can be relaxed on your first actual date if you’ve already become cyber-friends. 

Is online dating as bad as the media make it to be? The debate is still open. However, depending on what you need and seek, it can be the perfect solution for you. After all, we’re all different, so it’s only fair to offer different dating paths. 

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