All families argue. It’s completely normal to have the odd disagreement, especially if you’ve got teenagers in the house. Most conflicts come when we’re busy and tired, or when we’ve all got a lot going on outside of the home. Most of these disagreements are small. We bicker, and we share cross words, we might say something that we’ll regret later. But, most families move on quickly. These arguments are resolved rapidly and forgotten, then we get on with our lives.
This isn’t always the case, however. Sometimes, the same things lead to the same arguments, again and again. We keep coming back to them, we can’t move on, and they are creating a negative atmosphere and hurting our relationships. If your family is arguing more than you’d like, here are some tips to help you reduce the arguing at home.
Manage Your Money
The most common family arguments are about money. When we first start dating someone, we never argue, because family finance isn’t part of our lives. Our money is our own. Then, when we move in together and our finances become linked, things get more complicated. Suddenly we care about what our partner is spending, and we have to think more carefully about where our own money goes.
Creating a family budget can be tough. Especially when money is tight. But, it can make life run more smoothly, reducing arguments. Look at how to find a financial planner if you need a little help managing your money.
You might also want to consider keeping your own bank accounts if money is a source of problems. Have a joint account for bills, but keep your own money separate too.
Have Clear Rules and Expectations
Another common cause of arguments is all having different rules. If the kids aren’t allowed chocolate for breakfast, should the adults be? Make your family rules clear, even writing them down somewhere that everyone can see. If these rules are broken, there should be consequences, but it’s important that you are all clear about your rules and your expectations.
Slow Down and Do Something Fun
Most family tension arises when we’ve got giant to-do lists, and we’re all busy with our own things. We don’t have the chance to communicate our feelings appropriately, and we’re more likely to be snappy and have misunderstandings when we’re in a rush. So, slow down. Clear your to-do lists, ignore the chores for a day and go out together as a family. Do something fun or just spend a lazy day at home together.
Ask Yourself if It’s Worth it
When you are angry, it can be hard to think straight. So, sometimes it’s a good idea to remove yourself from the situation for a while. Think about your family, and all of the positives in your life. Ask yourself if what you are angry about is worth it. Is it worth losing a day of happy family life to fight this battle? In the grand scheme of things, do you care about this problem that much? If you do, go back and talk. If you don’t, let it go.
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