Now that it’s the thick of the holiday season, a family or office get together is probably on the horizon. And that may mean seeing that relative, friend, or colleague that you have some big issue with. And, you may be thinking “When I see (whoever), I’m really going to let them have it!”
Before you do, try to see that scene as an independent observer, like a friend who’s been invited by one of the other people who will be there. This person would be coming for the first time. If you were that person, and you saw “John” go up to “Bill” and yell at him in front of everyone, what would you think? How would you feel about John? Or his family, or company if it is an office gathering?
And of course, you may feel uncomfortable as a result of John’s actions, but what about the host? Or the other people at the gathering? John’s actions could mar the whole thing for just about everyone there.
Do you really want to be John?
My belief is that, If I have an issue with someone, it’s much better to deal with that person privately and settle things, peacefully, preferably before said gathering. If that can’t be done, then I do not try to hash things out at the gathering, but instead, act only to keep the peace where that person is concerned. Even if that means saying ‘hello’ to that person and even making small talk with that person. If I feel beforehand that I can’t keep my emotions in check, I just won’t attend the gathering. Luckily, I have no such issues with anyone, nor have I really had any in a very long time. But if I did, I certainly don’t want to be remembered as the one who ruined what could have been a great holiday celebration. Because that’s what would happen.
Wishing everyone one who reads this a merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year! 🙂
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