DIY Jokes To Get You Through Your Project

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DIY is one of those skills we all have to learn when we become adults and own our first home. Home projects can often be fun and exciting, but others can also be arduous and stressful to complete. If you are looking to build the house of your dreams this year you’ll need to get to grips with how to do many simple DIY tasks such as changing light fittings and wallpapering. 

When it comes to installing Interstate Dry Wall, ripping up carpets, and drilling holes in the walls we could all use a little bit of motivation and encouragement. That’s why today we are going to share some fun DIY jokes to get you through the work…

God walks into a DIY store in Lancashire looking for an ornamental well for the garden of Eden. Not sure where to look, he seeks a cashier for directions…

Before God says a word, the cashier recognizes the big guy and says “well, I’ll be!”

God replies “I thought I was the only one with superpowers?! Thanks.” and off he goes to the second isle.

I’m not very good at DIY but I managed to attach a piece of wood to another piece of wood.

Nailed it.

Went to a DIY store and asked for a plank. Since I’m a cheapskate I asked for 20% off.

The salesman came back with a plan.

Why does Sean Connery suck at DIY?

A lack of shelf awareness.

I wrote a book on DIY.

It comes with a free pen.

My wife told me if I went on the lads holiday to Vegas leaving her and the kids behind I’ll come home to find the locks changed …Good. My key has been sticking for months, it’s about time she did some DIY.

I think my new idea for DIY orthodontics is going to take the world by storm.

brace yourself

A man was doing some DIY work on his gas stove

When it all of a sudden blew up and sent him flying through his roof and up into the sky.

On his way up he passed a man falling down from the sky and asked him: “Hey, you know anything about gas stoves?”

The guy falling responded, “Nope, you know anything about parachutes?”

My friend told me that his DIY liquid rocket made it to space…

I told him to quit being hypergolic.

I’m addicted to DIY repairs.

I can’t stop thinking about my next fix.

I’ve had a bad day…Not only would the toilet not flush but I’ve been banned from the DIY store.

A DIY kidney transplant…

…is a home renalvation.

The worst thing about living next door to MC Hammer is the constant DIY noise.

I shouted ‘Stop!’ but if anything that made it worse.

I went to the DIY shop and bought a curtain rail. The shop assistant asked if I was putting it up myself. I replied “no you dirty sod. I’m putting it up in the dining room”

I wanted to buy some literature on DIY shelving

Sounds easy, but try going into a book store and asking if they have “any books on shelves”

DIY Holy Water…You take ordinary tap water and boil the Hell out of it.

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